Welcome to the First Chapter!

Starting something new often feels like stepping into the unknown, but it's also about uncovering parts of ourselves that we might have hidden. This blog is my space to reflect, to express, and to let pieces of my mind and soul come to light.

To begin, I want to share something deeply personal, a poem I wrote a few years ago. It’s not just words on a page; it’s a glimpse into the internal struggle of holding onto things you can’t quite let go of. It's about the parts of me I try to forget, and the ones I’ve tried to protect for years.

The One Within

No matter where I go or what I do

The one within me feels left out

She has an exuberant personality

She jumps when she laughs, shrieks when she cries, and fights back at me when she's infuriated

Constantly in search for my attention

Little does she know, that I’ve trapped her

There is no way for her to get out

No matter how much she jumps, yells, or screams

she cannot escape

She resides in me underneath all the suffocating layers of grief,

which would probably take years to chip away at

She thinks of me as evil

I might be, but that’s okay - she’s too naive for this world

This world where pain eats me alive

Pain that enters my mouth and wraps its way around my entire being

Feeling the bitterness on the tip of my tongue, my insides shrivel; it enters but never leaves

Rather I succumb to it so that she can doesn’t have to

because I love her more than anything

I find her in everything I do, despite the urge to forget about her

The twinkle in her eyes

Those chubby cheeks and pigtails

And of course that bright smile

But enough of all of that

Because she is me but I will never be her.

I post this first because it’s the core of who I am; a constant push and pull between who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. It's a reminder of the journey, the layers, and how we all carry parts of ourselves that are not easily seen.

Thank you for reading and stepping into my world.

This is just the beginning!